four and a half stars

Some days are just unexpectedly delightful. Other days, however, are those days where you want to throw yourself down the escalators at a shopping centre. The day I was told to ‘come back in an hour’ at a very well known eatery on Errol Street I thought it was going to be ‘one of those days’, but then I wandered a few doors down and found Fandango. This is where the ‘delightful’ bit comes into the story.

Children of the eighties will hear the name of this cafe and instantly be transported back to the time when they sat, cross legged with their siblings on the loungeroom floor, patiently waiting as a cassette tape loaded on their trusty Commodore 64. But here in Port Melbourne, Balderdash is more than just a pixilated, retro, computer character who casually taps his little spotted foot if left waiting. It’s a fabulous little cafe which serves an avocado smash that makes you want to French kiss the plate.

Judging newcomers can be a bit like asking a newborn foal to run the Melbourne Cup - it usually takes them time to find their feet. Not so at Oscar Cooper! They flew out of the gates only 7 weeks ago and now they're a full length ahead of their closest Prahran rivals.

The somewhat suggestive lyrics of this nursery rhyme have long made me laugh to myself. Blow. Horn. Hilarious! But stop! I don't joke when it comes to breakfast. When I saw lil boy blue's menu online, I got on my breakfast horse and headed to Kew immediately, and I wasn't disappointed. Tee hee, horn.

One of the lovely aspects of Melbourne is that almost every corner of the earth is represented somewhere in some way. Even the gross corners. But something that isn’t gross is the almost identical replication of the foodie laneways I remember visiting in places like Brussels, Rome and Prague (cue name dropping), here in sunny Melbourne. So imagine my absolute thrill when stumbling across Issus in Centre Place, making me feel like I was sitting in a cozy alleyway in Paris, sans beret.