Sometimes people spell things in cre8ive ways to appear more exotic or smarter. Examples include Jaxon, Kwik Kopy and Limonatta. Just to be clear, it should be spelled ‘limonata’. But whatever – as it turns out, the name is the least of your worries.
McKinnon is an interesting place, if by ‘interesting place’ you mean ‘inner suburban slum’. Head south and you have rollicking Centre Road, Bentleigh. Head north and you hit bustling North Road, Ormond. But McKinnon is trapped in Small Industrial RSL Land. It’s a strange mix of boarded up shop fronts, mechanics, liquor stores and bums. There are cafes on McKinnon Road (not many, mind you) that may not have been changed since the 19th century. Limonatta sticks out like a sore, tasty thumb. In theory.
It started out with all the world’s promise and naivety. We took a seat outside (came bearing dogs) and people brought us menus and water. We ordered things from said menus. So far so good. Then it started to rain, and the only outdoor shelter was next to the ‘wall hole’, through which coffees are passed to commuters.
And meals are passed to patrons, apparently. Each time a meal was cooked, the waitress plopped it on the window sill and said, “Your eggs/muffin/sandwich is ready!” and I had to stand up, walk over and pick it up myself, like a pauper! And being that all of our drinks and meals arrived at different times, I did this no less than six times. Bizarre.
This was my meal, slightly coagulated after all the standing and walking. At first glance, this looks okay, right? The eggs are glossy, the mushrooms are seasony, the avocado comes in its own little glass and there’s a smiley face in the bread. Tee hee! But then it comes into focus. What previously appeared to be eggs could now be:
- alien foetuses
- really poorly cooked eggs
Hint: it’s D) really poorly cooked eggs. They’ve been cooked in egg rings in shallow water (see how the edges are kind of dried out?), and if that isn’t the surest way to ruin an egg I don’t know what is. The mushrooms were burnt, but cold, which is confounding. “Shit, you guys, we burnt the mushrooms! Run them under cold water!” The avocado was fine, and of course the glass made a nice clinking sound as I smashed it with my knife.
On the whole, there’s not much I can say that’s very positive about Limonatta’s food or service. We served ourselves, ate average food, then paid $2 for the privilege of getting cash out to pay for it all. McKinnon remains, it would seem, a dark patch in the otherwise lovely inner south-eastern suburbs.